More waiting

So now comes the worst side of IVF.  Waiting.  Always something to wait for. 


I have 7 weeks to wait before I go to Spain for my second collection.  I need to try and keep myself busy for these 7 weeks so I dont go crazy, but the hard part about that is the injections start in 2 weeks up until egg collection.  These injections start in the evening and must be stored in the fridge so it means meeting friends after work, or going to the cinema etc cant happen as I need to get home to do the injections.  I also need to figure out a good time in the evening to do them, because when we go to Spain, they are an hour ahead so I need to make sure its not too late.  The things you need to think about!


Is there anyone reading that will be starting IVF soon?

Little Update

I haven't been on in the last few weeks, just a lot of stuff going on, your know yourself.


Well we got the email to say none of our other emrbyos made it to blastocyst by day 7 so we have 1 grade AA frozen for the moment.  Im still taking 5mg folic acid and Ive started Inositol (vitamin B) one in the morning, one at night, 1 coq10 at lunchtime and I started the pill again last week.  I take the pill up to the 7th November and hopefully my period will start a few days later.  I also have to start Saizen, which is a human growth hormone from the 10th Oct up until egg collection.  The Saizen, and Inositol and Coq10 are supposed to help the smaller follicles grow and the eggs to be a better quality than what I have had before so please god we have a couple more embryos that reach blastocyst.


Fertility forums are great, fantastic support and great to have other people going through something similar to you, but it can be hard when some girls have 17 follicles growing (I had 6) and one girl had 5 that reached blastocyst and are frozen (I had 1).  I just have to believe that November will be my time, we will have at least 1 other blastocyst to join its brother or sister, and please god we have something that passes the pgs testing for transfer, and please god it sticks too.


My brain is exhausted from it all

Day 6 Embryo Update

So we got our email regarding our embryos on day 6 and unfortunately it doesnt look good.  They are struggling to make it to blastocyst stage so the embryologist said they will give them one more day and see what happens, but they dont think it is likely


Its so hard.  As much as you want to be positive about the 1 you have, you start thinkin what if that 1 doesnt pass the test.  What if we only get 1 on November and that does pass, we only have 1 transfer, and if that doesnt stick, thats it.  We cant afford any more IVF treatment.  We wont be able to have a child.


How are you supposed to wrap your head around that

Back from my first EC

So I'm back from Spain after my first egg collection.  I have to say IVF Spain are amazing.  They are just so professional and after a bad cycle here at home, we have 100% faith in IVF Spain.


We arrived in Spain on the Thursday, and on the Friday, Monday and Tuesday I had an appointment with them every morning.  First was for a bloodtest and then we came back an hour later for the scan, as they would have the blood results back by then.  Thursday was EC and unfortunately I was awake during it.  I thought I would have been asleep, I was sedated but I was awake.  I think the fact I was awake made me think the experience was a lot worse than what it was and I was upset afterwards, but that was my own fault asking for sedation, as it could be different in Spain.  Where as now 100% going for general anesthetic in November.


We got 6 eggs.  The following day we went back for another consultation.  We met the lady who collected my eggs, she gave me an internal scan to make sure I was ok and they said 5 fertilised.  She also told me the changes they would be making for the next cycle for me. I was thrilled that after 24 hours they knew the changes they would make for more eggs and better quality eggs


Day 2 we got an email to say that all 5 were top quality, dividing as they should with no fragmentation
Day 3 the email said that the 5 were still dividing, 4 were of a better quality with no fragmentation.
They said at day 4 they dont go near them as its a critical day.
Day 5 they emailed to say 1 had reached blastocyst stage and it was biopsied and the rest they will keep an eye on until day 7 so Im hoping and praying for at least another 1 embryo


Compared to our last cycle at home, at day 5 transfer our embryo hadnt even made it to blastocyst stage so the fact we have 1 already that got there is good.


Next is another round of EC in November and anything that makes it to blastocyst will be biopsied.  Hopefully some will pass the test and we are looking at a transfer in the new year.

Dreaming...

With my first egg collection coming up, I can't help but start to dream about it all...


I dream....

• Our first colletion will go well, we will get 8 eggs collected, 7 fertilise, and 5 make it to day 5
• Our second collection will go better as the doctors will have learned from the first one and we will get 12 eggs, 9 fertilise and 6 make it to day 5
• All are pgs tested and we have 6 healthy embryos
• Two will get transfered in January and we will start the new year with a pregnancy 

Say a prayer   

Friend being supportive..?

I haven't written in a while as nothing has been happening to be honest.  I go to Spain for my first egg collection next week and Im just living for it.  I'm think of it as more of a holiday and forgetting about what I will actually be getting done... I dont need to worry about that just yet :)


Last week was a tough week.  A friend of mine, who knows we will be doing another round of IVF texted me to say she has wanted to tell me something for weeks... that she is 7 weeks pregnant.  Of course I was delighted for her, and we had all the chats about her pregnancy, how she found out, and when she is due, and how her little daughter will be a big sister next year :)  Then, she said to me, thanks for being so nice about it........... I was like - huh?? Its great news... no need to thank me, and she was like no, thanks for being nice and excited.... and Im like... so how else am I supposed to react?  I know she probably didnt mean it but it was like a kick in the stomach, that for some reason she had thought I would have been upset or angry for her... I don't know.  I told a couple of friends about this, cos it really got to me and their reactions were "why did she tell you at 7 weeks... why couldn't she wait until 12.  Was she rubbing your face in it?"  I hadn't seen it like that at all.  I had seen it as excitedness... which I will still believe it was. 


As anyone knows who is trying to get pregnant, hearing a pregnancy announcement is like a kick in the stomach, even though you are delighted for them, the ache you feel in your stomach hurts.

Slowly moving forward

So we are 5 weeks away before we head to Spain for our first Egg Collection.  I had to get a scan here at a local clinic just to show spain what my lining was, and how many follicles I had.  I think thats just to show them on a standard cycle how things  look before I start any drugs.  I have to wait for 1 more period and then injections will start the end of August hopefully. 


It's such a long road sometimes.  There are days where the excitement is there and you just are so positive and so excited and you are wishing your life away until you get your collection, then transfer, and then that BFP you have always dreamed of.  Then there are days, and today is one of those days, where you just feel down.  Just exhausted from it.  Wondering if its actually ever gonna come around.  And when it does, will it work.


It can be so hard sometimes.




How do you all get through the tough times?