Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Where things went wrong

There are a few reasons why we have decided to move clinics.  When we met our first clinic originally, it was our first time doing anything like this.  We didnt know the questions to ask, we didnt know anything to be honest.  We just went in, listened, nodded and left.  It was only a few days later that we would think, hmm, why are they doing this, why did they not explain this more etc.  But me being me, I trust everything and anything that is said to me.  Yup Ive learned from this.

They said I would be on the nasal spray for a few weeks, and then start the injections.  A friend of mine has done IVF before and she asked why they put me on the long protocol.... The long WHAT??  I had no idea!!!

After I had an internal scan they saw a "small fibroid" on the left hand side but couldnt tell if it was growing from my ovary or from the wall.  So after another internal and external they said it was growing from the wall, it wouldnt interfer with pregnancy and they would leave it where it as as Ive had surger on my stomach before (more on this later)

They put me on 200mls of gonal f to kick the follicles into action and get the eggs growing.  Everything was less than I expected.  They could see 6 follicles and the rest were very small.  After reading forums, some peoples meds were changed through their cycle but this was never mentioned to me.

Egg collection time and my husband said I was gone for about 10-15 minutes.  When I woke up they said they collected 7 eggs.  I was delighted.  I was expecting 4 as my numbers were so low.  The embrologist called the following day to say 6 had fertilised, and 2 days later on day 3 I was told 2 were doing well and 2 were a little slower but going in the right direction.  Finally on day 5 the best one was transfered.  I went onto a forum to fill in the girls and the questions started " so what grade were they, were they a 1, 2, 3, 4 or 5".   Emmmmmm....... I dunno........?

Unfortunately this cycle didnt work so we went back to the clinic.  We felt like there were a few things that could be changed but I really wanted them to say something to me to make me feel impressed by them, something that would change how we both felt and had trust to put back into them again. 

Firstly the doctor said the cycle went great, and they were delighted with 7 eggs collected.  (In the mean time, my husband had already contact an IVF clinic in spain and they said for their clinic, 7 eggs is very low, they expect at least 12).  I said to the doctor I expected double digits and could the gonal f be increased and she said hmmmm, well, its already at a decent amount, and 7 eggs is really good so we would leave it as it was.  Ok, so Ive had a failed IVF cycle and nothing is going to be changed for the next one??

Next she said, your embryos were of a poor quality.  They were graded a 3.  This was never mentioend to us in the whole process until now.  I felt like the clinic held information like this back from us to make us think the whole process was going perfectly and we had a really good shot at it working.

Next... and my husband said if they used this as an excuse he would be so mad... next they said, well you do have a large fibroid that could have caused an issue so we need to look into that further.  Firstly WHAT!! LARGE?? and secondly, why couldnt all of these tests have been done first, before the first cycle!!  The fibroid measured 6cm!  thats the size of a small orange!!!!!!!  The doctor said my egg collection was difficult as the fibroid was in the way and it could also have effected implantation.  We were both so angry.  Its like this first cycle was set up to fail from the beginning due to them not looking at everything from the start.  Its like they said, ok, we will do 60% of the tests and just give it a bash, see if it works, and if it doesnt, we can do more tests and see what happens.

Felt so disheartened by them, but we have learned so many lessons from them!

Thanks for reading
J xox

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